MENTAL HEALTH through the perspective of a 20-year-old — PART 1
This is not a piece of professional advice about mental health or anything related to the same. Don’t assume and treat yourself with the online content, even though it is a place to start. If you are feeling low or blue, please reach out to a doctor, your loved ones or someone you can trust.
This is my first ever writing endeavor apart from the numerous essays and assignments I have written for purely academic purposes. Although I do have experience writing long chats :)
I never thought Hold Up a Minute would begin with some serious and sensitive content, and part 1 will be a light version of what we wanted to say. I want to talk about what I have to come to understand regarding mental health, the way the current Indian society handles it, and what not to do when a person opens up to you about their struggles.
Now the question is, why am I writing about this?
As a “GenZer”, a 20-year-old dude who has seen enough of the social media uprising and the value people associate to social acceptance through social media, I feel so pathetic about the fact that the care and attention for a problem last only for a period, until isn’t #trending.
For the Non-Indian readers and anyone who doesn’t know Sushant Singh Rajput, he was an Indian actor who is now no more. He died of suicide, and the reasons are unknown as of now. Initial reports say that he was clinically depressed and under treatment for the same. It is speculated that his struggles with mental health caused him to take the drastic step.
His untimely demise is a huge loss to the Indian cinema industry and another good soul taken away too soon from this earth. The way social media carried it was not a surprise too. People, the ones with real shock and disappointment, and the ones who shared condolences out of the fear of missing out on something, filled social media apps. No issues with that, it’s their thing, let them do it.
But the interesting part is that suddenly everyone started talking about mental health and depression-like as if someone flipped their moral switch. Again, no issues, it is their thing; they have the right to do whatever they want. But the real question is how many of these people, including you and me, even care?
I saw a meme today, which sounded so true, and at the same time, so sad.
Everyone on social media now: I would rather listen to your problems than attending your funeral.
At the same time, when someone tries to open up to them: “ When are you gonna stop being such a cry-baby and being so dark ?”
This is the social situation right now. No-one knows what mental health is, or anything about what could happen inside anyone’s mind.
I remember the last time everyone was so concerned about mental health. It was after the death of the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington. We all posted thousands of words and thoughts about him and his songs; we all shared the song and quoted the lyric.
“Who cares if one more light goes out, in the sky of a million stars ..”. Many of us shared words about mental health.
But did it change anything?
Yes I know, if someone gets an insight about the issues and could improve or save someone from that black hole, it’s worth something. But that is not enough.
A large part of our society doesn’t even know or believe in mental health. The sad thing about it is their ignorance. “Depression? Is that even a real thing?” or something like “This is just some attention-seeking shenanigan that they are pulling off.”
I am writing this during the 3rd month of the lockdown due to COVID-19. The trigger to write this piece was the Instagram page ‘Under 25 Confessions’, which posts anonymous confessions and questions from people, mostly youngsters. A recurring post that I saw was about people living in toxic situations, seeking help on how to cope. I am blessed with my chill parents, and since we are a nuclear family, I don’t usually give a shit about what others say except my parents and maybe one or two other people in my life. But those confessions made me think how much drama many have to put up with and how exhausting it must be to deal with something like that daily.
I am not a doctor or a psychology student. The following information is some of the things that I read, gathered and understood over time. Don’t judge yourself or anyone based on what I wrote. Cause the last thing I want with this blog is to destroy someone’s peace of mind.
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called a major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn’t worth living.
This is a formal definition of what Depression is. It is not always feeling empty.
Sometimes it is fatigue and body aches. Sometimes it is trouble sleeping and sleeping too much. Sometimes It is eating too much or not eating at all. Sometimes it is anxiety, empty feeling and a depth of despair. Depression is more than just emotion.
From what I understood by listening to some of my friends and with my experience with some of them, having anxiety and depression is like being in fear of failure and tired with no urge to do anything. It is caring about everything then caring about nothing. It is feeling everything all at once and having no clue about what’s going on and having a feeling of numbness.
And trust me when I say this, people whose anxiety is over the top don’t usually have never-ending traffic of thought. It is like having a national highway of four lanes with more than seven lines of vehicles trying to avoid each other while passing along with screaming horns from every single one of them.
And the worst thing to do to someone who is not well is by sending them quotes or writings and asking them to open up about whatever that’s bothering them. They don’t want your “ time will heal everything” or “this too shall pass”.
Listen to what they are trying to say; stop just thinking about how you’ll reply.
Just be the kindest person you can be even when you are tired. Start with yourself. Have the patience for everything.
And a note to the one’s who feels troubled, everyone is going through something of their own. But it doesn’t mean that your problem is not as significant as the others. It is okay to ask for help. Open up to your loved ones or find a doctor with whom you can share what you feel. Please seek help if you don’t feel okay.
You are important.
(co-author, Hold Up a Minute)
